What did Redditor Jesus say to Lazarus?

I see your dead body and raise you back to life (NSFL)

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What did the depressed, illiterate pepperoni slice say when asked where he was with his life?

Well it pizza heck out of me.

How's life?

she asked. "Oh same as usual" he replied "boring."

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

What do I get when I raise up a platform to play Mozart?

Amadeus on my dais.

Why should you always invite Amish people to a party?

They know how to raise the roof.

Dead Body Jokes More Dead Body Jokes

What do you call a dead body and two planks?

A "Build your own Jesus" kit.

How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?

I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught.