What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

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Why couldn't the retarded man talk normally?

He was trying to hold the door

What kind of noise annoys an oyster ?

A noisy noise annoys an oyster ! (Try saying that fast!)

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What do you say when someone dies while getting an erection?

He came and went at the same time.

What do nuclear physicists do when they have time off?

They go fission.

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Why can't the French cook two eggs?

Because one egg is

What did the Officer say after arresting the crooked cook?

I just booked a cook for cooking the books."

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What's the difference between a roasted chicken and a time bomb?

If you don't know the answer please never invite me to dinner.

What did Sherlock ask his friend when he wanted to know what they were having for dinner?

Watson the menu

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What's Richard Nixon's favorite game?

I spy.

What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

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How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House?

A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.

What has dual airbags and has lots of room?

A: The White House.