What did the big hairy monster do when he lost a hand?

He went to the second-hand shop.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What did the farmer's daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes! Or "That'll do pig, that'll do." I have heard it both ways.

Where do you usually find dogs?

It all depends on where you lose them.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on halloween?

Happy halloweenie

Why did the kidnapped clock always read 12:00?

His hands were tied.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What, over in ten seconds?

Girl: "No, eight black men and a gun."

How many redditors does it take to make a good joke?

Three. One to post it, the second to post a better punchline in the comments, and the third to complain that it's a repost.

Second Hand Shop Jokes More Second Hand Shop Jokes

What's Captain Hook's favourite kind of shop?

The second hand shop.

What does a pirate get when he walks into a second-hand shop?

Disappointed.