What did the Loch Ness Monster say to his friend?

Long time no sea.

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Sea Jokes More Sea Jokes

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

Why can't pirates recite the alphabet?

They keep getting lost at sea.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What did Einstein text to his friend who he'd see tomorrow?

E=MC U L8R

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

Long Time Jokes More Long Time Jokes

When someone says "excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable", how long are they usually gone?

Two days seems like a long time.

What do you name a girlfriend you haven't had for a long time?

Palmela Handerson

Loch Ness Monster Jokes More Loch Ness Monster Jokes

What do you get when you cross a muppet with the Loch Ness monster?

Messie Thank you and goodnight.

What did the Loch Ness Monster say to his friend?

Long time no sea.