What did the pumpkin say after waking up his family?

Awaken, my pump- "

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Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

mourning wood

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What's the first thing a Navy wife does when she wakes up in the morning?

She puts her clothes back on and goes home.

What did the Seven Dwarfs say when the prince woke up Snow White?

Welp.... I guess it's back to jerking off!

Pump Jokes More Pump Jokes

What do rednecks do on Halloween?

They pump kin.

What is a guy with ED favorite saying?

I'm going to PUMP YOU UP!

Pumpkin Jokes More Pumpkin Jokes

Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?

It wanted to play squash.

Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?

They have no hands to knock on the door.