What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.

Previous Random Joke Next
Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Whats the difference between Caesar and Casanova?

Caesar said:"I came, I saw, I conquered." Casanova said:"I saw, I conquered, I came."

What stopped winter from coming?

Winterfell and it can't get up.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do bees say to psych themselves up at the start of their day?

Leeeeeetttttssss get rrrrrrrrrready to Buuuuuuummmmmmmmmmbbbbbbllllllleeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!"

Why did the employee get fired from the calendar manufacturing company?

He took a day off

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the time traveller do after he ate the last bite of his dinner?

He went back 4 seconds.

What does a woman and KFC have in common?

By the time youre finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Who were the participants?

Guy: ' The owner, the cop and me. '

Why should you never race with a guy from Finland?

Because they're already Finnish before the race even began

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ?

You wake up wet !

What did the dead blues musician sing?

Didn't wake up this morning..."

Jerk Jokes More Jerk Jokes

Why are jerks nice sometimes?

Standard deviation of the mean (OC, as far as I know)

What do you call a jerking off well-endowed midget?

A huge short coming.

Alarm Clock Jokes More Alarm Clock Jokes

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.