What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did the doe say as she came out of the forest?

I'll never do that for 5 bucks again.

What do women and police cars have in common?

They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's the difference between the wind and a blonde?

Some days the wind doesn't blow.

What you gonna do on St. Valentine's day?

What day is it " "Friday." "Shepherd's Pie."

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why shouldn't you be friends with a broken clock?

Because it won't even give you the time of day.

What part of your punctuality emancipates the Chinese?

Your Ti"ming"!

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why are most guys like floor tile?

Because if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them from the rest of your life!

What do you call a guy who is in color guard?

A flaggot

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You pa- pa- poker face, pa- pa- poker face!

What time does a mechanic wake up?

Oily!

Jerk Jokes More Jerk Jokes

What's it called when a smart girl jerks you off?

A stroke of genius!

What did the teenage boy who was jerking off in his room say when his mother called?

One second mom, I'm coming!

Alarm Clock Jokes More Alarm Clock Jokes

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.