What does a child without arms get for x-mas?

gloves! nah don't know, it hasn't opened the present yet

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What's black and got ten arms?

I've got no idea, but it probably can pick cotton like hell.

Why did Timmy fall off the swing?

Me: why Him: Timmy has no arms. Knock knock. Me: Who's there Him: Not Timmy.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why do happy people like to sleep in late?

Because they aren't mourning people. I just made this up!! Could you all help me with the wording? It feels like it could be a little better I just don't know how to word it differently while using the same "mourning" pun as the punch line.

How do you know if a girl is ticklish?

Give her a testicle.

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

What will Tesla build this christmas to help santa deliver presents?

An elf driving car

Where does Santa get presents for bad kids?

Kohl's.

X Jokes More X Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

Why does he do that?

Me: He's on paws. X: ... Me: On... paws. X: I hate you so much.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Where would Helen Keller park her car?

On top of three children.

What did the Momma Buffalo say to her child as he left for school?

A: Bison!

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What key opens a banana?

A monkey. What key opens a carrot? A donkey.

What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.