What has two legs and can't stand up?

Half a cat

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call two guys with no arms or legs hanging from a window?

Curt and Rod

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What do you call a police officer standing on dog poop?

On duty

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners?

Cause he can't do stand-up.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What looks like half an apple?

The other half

What would you do if i won the lottery?

Wife: I'd take half and leave. Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now.

Half Cat Jokes More Half Cat Jokes

What has two legs and can't stand up?

Half a cat

What has two legs and bleeds profusely?

What has two legs and bleeds profusely? Half a cat