What would you do if i won the lottery?

Wife: I'd take half and leave. Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How does the alchemist please his wife?

Elixir!!!!!

What's the difference between a deaf person and my wife?

I don't know.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What has ten letters and starts with gas?

flatulence"

How Do You Start a Flood?

An engineer and an attorney were fishing in the Caribbean. The attorney said, Im here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. "Thats quite a coincidence," said the engineer. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood and my insurance company also paid for everything. The puzzled attorney asked, How do you start a flood?

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the wife say as she left her Mexican husband?

I'm sorry but I love another Juan.

What did the blondes left leg say to her right?

Nothing... They've never met

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball?

Because Africa isn't a country.

What could have been the most stuppidest result of Napolleonic wars if France won?

Tsar Napoleon.

Pack Jokes More Pack Jokes

Who's there ! Adelia ! Adelia who ?

Adelia the cards after you cut the pack !

When a rapper gets beer, how much do they get?

A Two Pack

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What would you do if i won the lottery?

Wife: I'd take half and leave. Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now.

What did Christa McAuliffe say to her husband before she left her house to board the Challenger space shuttle?

You feed the dogs, and I'll feed the fish."

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.

What has 2 legs and bleeds?

Half a dog.

Lottery Jokes More Lottery Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What has six balls and screws everybody?

The lottery.