What is 32% black, 45% white... ...gets lit up and changes to blue and red at night?

Chicago.

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Light Jokes More Light Jokes

How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None: Leos are so enthusiastic they carry their own light.

Which unit describes the intensity of light in South Africa?

Nelson Candela

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many NRA members does it take to change a light bulb?

A: More guns.

How many absurdists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Yarn.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

When do the leaves begin to turn?

The night before a test.

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

32 Jokes More 32 Jokes

What do you have when you get 32 rednecks in a line?

A full set of teeth

What do you get when you move 32 Texans into the same room?

A full set of teeth

45 Jokes More 45 Jokes

What do you get when 42 goes into 45?

Chelsea.

Why are your eyes dilated?

Me: "Your eyes dilate up to 45% when you look at something you love" Mom: "What were you looking at " Me: "Memes"

Chicago Jokes More Chicago Jokes

Why don't you want to hang out with a dude from Chicago?

Because 'Illinois you!

What would you do of you found Chicago, Ill.?

Call Baltimore, M.D.