What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?

You don't have to hug a washing machine half an hour after it finishes

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a meteor and a meteorite?

Ite. Sorry, a kid said this in elementary school and it was funny back then :)

What's the difference between OJ Simpson and Stephen King?

OJ's truth is stranger than King's fiction.

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

What did Dahmer do when he finished his vegetables?

A: He threw away their wheelchairs!

Why was the blond excited when she finished her puzzle after 6 months?

Because the box said 2-4 years!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's 3 inches long and pleases all women?

A credit card.

How many cats does it take for a woman to qualify as a "crazy cat lady?

None. Just a couple of youtube cat videos.

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

Why is the washing machine so grumpy?

It keeps getting agitated

What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine?

A washing machine doesn't cry when it takes a load.

Hug Jokes More Hug Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a catholic, a baptist, and a Methodist?

A baptist will run into a liquor store, buy their alcohol and run out. A Methodist will walk into a liquor store and say high to everyone, then buy their alcohol and walk out. A catholic will show up to the store completely hammered, hug everyone, get their alcohol and stumble their way out of the store.

How many professional soccer players does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to change the bulb, and five to hug and kiss him.

Half Hour Jokes More Half Hour Jokes

What are you looking for buddy?

Normal day at the office, when one guy notices his coworker distraught. He goes over to his cubicle and sees him looking for something on the floor. They spend half an hour looking for it, when the guy starts picking his nose:

What's a man's idea of foreplay?

A half hour of begging.