How many professional soccer players does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to change the bulb, and five to hug and kiss him.

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Bulb Jokes More Bulb Jokes

How many Latvians does it take to screw a lightbulb?

Is dark. Bulb is potato.

How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape so Christians can't claim God did it.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many literalists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One.

How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many alternative school kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but they get extra credits for it

How many punks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Punks never changed anything.

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

What do you kiss on a Mexican dish that will trigger the end of the world?

El Taco Lips.

What disease do you get from kissing birds?

Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. They say it's untweetable.

Hug Jokes More Hug Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a catholic, a baptist, and a Methodist?

A baptist will run into a liquor store, buy their alcohol and run out. A Methodist will walk into a liquor store and say high to everyone, then buy their alcohol and walk out. A catholic will show up to the store completely hammered, hug everyone, get their alcohol and stumble their way out of the store.

What's big and purple and hugs your Easter basket?

The Easter Barney!