What is your date of birth?

Witness: "July 15th." Lawyer: "What year " Witness: "Every year."

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Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What do you want for your birthday this year?

Vanessa: I want a divorce! Kobe: I wasn't planning on spending that much this year. Here's another ring.

What is the difference between a BMW and a baby carriage?

The baby carriage is the result of last year's fun on wheels.

Birth Jokes More Birth Jokes

What hurts more giving birth or being kicked in the balls?

A women will normally want more children after a year or two. No man has ever wanted another kick in the balls. Case closed.

What do you call a cow that has given birth?

Decalfinated.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce?

Well, I'm guessing it's because the other fifty percent can't afford lawyers.

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?

I think we should sea otter people.

How do you know you are dating a women, not a girl?

A girl has no name.

Witness Jokes More Witness Jokes

How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Three. One to screw it in one to watch and one to shoot the witness.

Why don't Jehovah Witnesses like Halloween?

Because they don't like random people knocking on their doors