Witness Jokes

Why don't Jehovah Witnesses like Halloween?

Because they don't like random people knocking on their doors

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Why are there no jehovah's witnesses in Italy?

The mafia doesn't like witnesses.

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!"

What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry.

What do you call a witness to an event in the Middle East?

A Dubaistander. Yeah I thought of it myself.

What is your date of birth?

Witness: "July 15th." Lawyer: "What year " Witness: "Every year."

How many pull-ups can you do?

Me: 22. Wife: How many with witnesses Me: Almost 1.

Why does Jehovah need so many witnesses?

Sounds like a pretty shady dude to me.

What happens when you witness a shipwreck?

You let it sink in.

How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Three. One to screw it in one to watch and one to shoot the witness.

Why don't Italians like Jehovah's Wittness?

They don't like any witnesses.

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311 Credit goes to my friend Max.

How does a blonde call for her dog?

She puts two fingers in her mouth and then shouts "Max!".

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What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!"

What's a Warboy's from Mad Max's favourite web browser?

Chrome

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How can you tell if you have a mature or an immature sense of humor?

poop.

What do you call a cow with no sense of humor ?

A feminist

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What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator was opened?

Close that damn door! Can't you see I'm dressing??"

How do you tell who loves you more. Your wife or your dog?

Put both of them in the trunk of your car...drive around...open the trunk and see who is happy to see you.

Wit Jokes More Wit Jokes

What's the difference between humor and odor?

Humor is a shift of wit...

What do you get from a cowmedian?

Cream of Wit!

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Why don't blacks celebrate thanksgiving?

It's hard to be thankful when KFC is closed

Why doesn't India celebrate halloween?

No Gandhi

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

Why don't black pitchers throw three strikeout in a row?

Because they don't believe in the KKK

What kind of magic do cows believe in?

MOODOO.

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Why don't Jehovah's Witnesses celebrate Halloween?

Because they don't appreciate random people knocking on their door.

Why didn't the skelton cross the road?

Answer in comments so you can fully appreciate the joke)