Witness Jokes

Why don't Jehovah Witnesses like Halloween?

Because they don't like random people knocking on their doors

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Why are there no jehovah's witnesses in Italy?

The mafia doesn't like witnesses.

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!"

What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry.

What do you call a witness to an event in the Middle East?

A Dubaistander. Yeah I thought of it myself.

What is your date of birth?

Witness: "July 15th." Lawyer: "What year " Witness: "Every year."

How many pull-ups can you do?

Me: 22. Wife: How many with witnesses Me: Almost 1.

Why does Jehovah need so many witnesses?

Sounds like a pretty shady dude to me.

What happens when you witness a shipwreck?

You let it sink in.

How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Three. One to screw it in one to watch and one to shoot the witness.

Why don't Italians like Jehovah's Wittness?

They don't like any witnesses.

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Why don't Southern girls engage in orgies?

Too many thank-you notes.

Why do southern girls get pregnant so much more than northern girls?

Because it takes them so much longer to say "Kaaa-WIT!"

Wit Jokes More Wit Jokes

What do you get from a cowmedian?

Cream of Wit!

What's the difference between humor and odor?

Humor is a shift of wit...

Mafia Jokes More Mafia Jokes

What do you get if you cross a Sociologist with someone in the Mafia?

An offer you can't understand.

What is a Mafia enforcer's favorite game?

Whack-A-Mole

Court Jokes More Court Jokes

What do most people wear to court?

Law-suits

Why was the photo acquitted in his trial at court?

Because he was framed!

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

Why couldn't the banana get a date?

It didn't have a peel.

What did the mushroom put in his bio for the online dating service?

Im a fungi

Knock Knock Joke Jokes More Knock Knock Joke Jokes

Why are there no knock-knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings. Happy 4th of July !

What's the worst thing about being a Jehovah's witness?

Nobody asks, 'who's there ' when you try and tell a knock knock joke.

Celebrate Jokes More Celebrate Jokes

How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?

I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you "

How do rednecks celebrate Halloween?

Pump Kin

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference... ...between Mick Jagger and an angry Scotsman?

One says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" The other says "Hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe!"

Why did the minus sign run for office?

To make a difference.