What is your secret weapon against terrorists?

We simply reply......Chuck Norris

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Why did the terrorist buy himself a Porsche?

He was going through a midlife ISIS :(

What did terrorists used to call Fidel Castro?

Infidel Castro

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Who has more testicles?

contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

What is Chuck Norris' only weakness?

Cancer

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Why am I getting my Christmas presents in August?

Her mom replies, "Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy."

Which I replied, "Wanna know whats also the size of Australia?

Australia.