What is your secret weapon against terrorists?

We simply reply......Chuck Norris

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When do terrorists go to bed?

9:11 PM

What happened when the joke about terrorists got to the front page?

It blew up

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How much wood can Chuck Norris if Chuck Norris could chuck wood?

Chuck Norris would just stare at the wood, and it would chuck itself out of fear.

Why are there no Chuck Norris knock-knock jokes?

Because Chuck only has to hit the door ONCE.

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What width?

She replied: "with scissors of course."

Why did you do that?

I replied,"That's what you're supposed to do in soccer, right Kick balls "