What's faster, the speed of thought or the speed of light?

Neither, it's diarrhea. Before you could think about it or even turn the lights on, you've already shat yourself.

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Light Jokes More Light Jokes

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, but when he unscrews the bulb, the lights go out and your xbox is gone.

What happens when something travels faster than the speed of light?

Does it matter?

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What's the difference between men and pigs?

Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

Can I watch the TV?

Yes, but don’t turn it on.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What makes you think you can criticise American gun laws, sitting over there in the UK?

I was asked on an internet forum. "Because you're not allowed to take them on planes," I answered.

What is the past tense of 'think'?

So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'.

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What happens when something travels faster than the speed of light?

Does it matter?

What did the doctor say to the speeding commuter?

Thank you for your patients.

Diarrhea Jokes More Diarrhea Jokes

When do Catholics allow the use of condoms?

When the choir boys have diarrhea.

What animal has two gray feet and two brown feet?

An elephant with diarrhea.