What's next, thought crimes?

CNN: If you stare at your hand for a long time it will look weird

Previous Random Joke Next
Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How much do you think I will be losing with this?

Pharmacist replies: Well ... around 200 bucks.

Why so down?

Aquaman: People think I'm not a real superhero. I'm tired of being walked all over. *Jesus enters Aquaman: Dammit!

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why was Piglet in the bathroom?

He was looking for Pooh.

What does a baby mouse say to its mother after seeing a bat?

Look mom, an angel!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why is hip hop popular among urban youth?

because it's the only time a black man can tell a crowd of white people to put their hands in the air.

Why should you keep a broken clock?

It's just nice having an extra set of hands around.

Stare Jokes More Stare Jokes

Why was the blond staring at a carton of orange juice?

Because it said concentrate.

What do mathematicians get if they stare at the roots of negative numbers for too long?

Square eyes

Crime Jokes More Crime Jokes

What happens after an alligator commits a crime?

You call an investigator

How do they prevent crime in hamburger country?

With burger alarms!

Long Time Jokes More Long Time Jokes

Why did Captain Kirk take such a long time in the washroom?

Because he was fighting the Klingons.

Whats the difference between a guy who has a new Mercedes and a guy who has an old Mercedes?

The guy who has a new Mercedes is rich. The guy who has an old Mercedes has been rich for a longer time.

Cnn Jokes More Cnn Jokes

What's the difference between CNN and Al-Jazeera?

CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al-Jazeera shows them landing. (Not mine, just heard it on the Jimmy Dore show) also "My favorite indie band is palestinian. I think they're really going to blow up."

What does CNN call back-to-back aviation disasters?

Christmas in July