What's the best part about locking your keys in the car at an abortion clinic?

Plenty of coat hangers.

This joke may have profanity.
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How do cats park their cars?

They allel park

What do you call a cow that got hit by a car?

moo-tilated.

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What's the best part of Chinese food?

The 4/10 cookie

Why wasn't Jesus any good at math?

Because he always seemed to get hung up on addition.

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Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

What was the internet like in the old days?

Me: *opens door* *pushes 16 outside* *locks door*

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How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!

Why is it important to have plenty of help when changing a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.

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What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood?

Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.

Who's there ! Chicken ! Chicken who ?

Chicken your pockets - I think your keys are there !s

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Coat Hanger Jokes More Coat Hanger Jokes

What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car, outside of a planned parenthood center?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat-hanger.