What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?

A: About fifty pounds.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Tigger and Pooh?

I've never smeared tigger on my face

What's the difference between the IRS and a baby?

It takes a lot more than a hammer to make the IRS shut up.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the annoyed husband tell his wife after she saw elk falling from the sky?

Sigh* That's not elk... That's just reindeer.

What did the English man say when he walked in on his wife making love to three men?

Ello, 'ello, 'ello!

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

What's the fastest way to lose a few pounds?

Exit the European Union.

What's the difference between a lesbian and a sperm whale?

Fifty pounds and a flannel shirt.

Mistress Jokes More Mistress Jokes

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.

What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?

A: About fifty pounds.