What's the difference between an accordion and an onion?

No one cries when you cut up an accordion

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a crackhead and a walrus?

One tooth

What's the difference between matter and a hormone?

You can't make matter.

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

How do you make Helen Keller cry?

Turn the stool upside-down

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do you cut pizza?

With Little Ceasar's.

How do you stop a monster from smelling?

Cut off his nose.

Accordion Jokes More Accordion Jokes

What is big and brown and plays the accordion?

Lawrence Elk

Which one is the boy you've been seeing?

New GF: *sees me playing accordion* He died

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

What do onions and people have in common?

I weep uncontrollably when I cut them.

Whats the square (root) of a (onion)???

Shallots