What's wrong with them?

his boss asks. "I just can't see myself coming to work today."

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

A: They're both filled with stiffs one's coming one's going.

What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?

Oh no not snake and pygmy pie again!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time?

I'm Thor

What do you call a stoner working at a repair shop?

High maintenance

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why was Gollum executed at a bar in Iraq?

Because he asked for Ice-es

What did Bill Cosby say when he was asked about the child abuse claims?

Kids say the darnedest things.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How can I help you today, Mr Simpson?

BART: I don't know where my hair starts

Why do people love their smartphones so much?

Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

What do you call the boss hit by a shrink ray?

Micromanagement!