Where's the best place to hide a body?

Stephen Hawking's personal gym.

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Why do elephants paint their toe nails red?

So they can hide in cherry trees. You've never seen an elephant in a cherry tree? They're pretty good at it.

What do you call a skeleton in a closet?

The hide and seek champion.

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How much for this remote controlled alien?

Sir, that's Stephen Hawking."

What is Stephen Hawking's favourite song?

Satisfaction

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Where's the best place to hide money from a Mexican?

Under a bar of soap.

Where is the best place to buy computer software?

Washington C.D

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What do you say to a naked pig?

I never sausage a body."

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party ?

He had no body to go with !