Who won the race between two balls of string?

They we're tied!

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Win Jokes More Win Jokes

How did I win a Super Smash Bros. Brawl Tournament?

I met a knight

Why did the farmer win the Nobel Prize?

There was a clerical error. The award was intended to go to Malala Yousafzai for her advocacy work for education for young girls.

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

Who's there ! Astor ! Astor who ?

Astor the ball is over !

What is Long, has two balls and you lift it ?

A dumbell

Race Jokes More Race Jokes

What colour T-shirt would win a race?

Red, because it runs the most.

Why does Rilla get mad when he's in a race?

A. Because all his friends shout "GO-RILLA!"

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

How do they tie things down on the space station?

They use astro knots.

How are you doing this morning?

Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you

String Jokes More String Jokes

Why are Republicans always so strung up about 9/11?

A: Elephants never forget.

What do a Marionette User and Tampon Thief have in common?

They both pull strings for work. (Inspired by Bo Burnham, this popped into my head the other day)