Why did Jimmy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept for.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?

Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why does the nudist always go to bed early?

Because he never sleeps in much!

What should you do if you find a snake in your bed?

Sleep in the wardrobe.

Jimmy Jokes More Jimmy Jokes

Who him?

Oh that's just jimmy, I pay him to follow me around and inter- *saxophone solo* INTERRUPT MY SENTENCES WITH SAXOPHONE SOLOS.

What did little no armed Jimmy get for Christmas?

Gloves! Haha I'm joking. He hasn't opened it yet.

Ruler Jokes More Ruler Jokes

Why did the blond take a ruler to bed?

To see how long she slept.

Why can't anarchists draw straight lines?

Because they don't have any rulers.