Why did Jimmy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept for.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What does Green Day say before bed?

Green night

Why did the man bring his bed with him to the hospital?

It's because he heard hospital beds have a high mortality rate.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why is it so hard to sleep with Asian women?

It can be a slippery slope.

How do Australians sleep?

With their heads at the foot of the bed.

Jimmy Jokes More Jimmy Jokes

What has 4 legs and isn't alive?

It's a chair dad... Why are you bothering me with this ! No Jimmy, it's your dog...

Who him?

Oh that's just jimmy, I pay him to follow me around and inter- *saxophone solo* INTERRUPT MY SENTENCES WITH SAXOPHONE SOLOS.

Ruler Jokes More Ruler Jokes

Who is the king of stationary?

The ruler.

Why did the boy take a ruler to bed with him?

A: To see how long he slept.