Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?

She wanted to get a dark tan.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why didn't Count Dracula get married?

He wanted to remain a bat-chelor.

What did the toaster say to the bread?

I want you inside me.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

What do you do when you see a black man lying on the floor?

You stop laughing and shoot him again.

Blond Jokes More Blond Jokes

What's the difference between a blond and a washing machine?

When you drop a load into a washing machine it doesn't follow you around for a week.

What should you do when you see a blond with a pin in her mouth?

RUN! She's got a grenade in her mouth!

Bikini Jokes More Bikini Jokes

What do you call a sheman wearing a bikini?

Flaccid

Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

Midnight Jokes More Midnight Jokes

What did the two narwhals say at midnight?

Nothing, they just baconed.

How old?

Woman: "Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time " Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."

Lawn Chair Jokes More Lawn Chair Jokes

What is the first thing off the truck at a trailer fire?

A: Lawn chair.

Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?

She wanted to get a dark tan.