Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time did Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Around Ten-ish.

What time do monkeys poop?

Tree turdy.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What are you looking for buddy?

Normal day at the office, when one guy notices his coworker distraught. He goes over to his cubicle and sees him looking for something on the floor. They spend half an hour looking for it, when the guy starts picking his nose:

Where does Ben Carson spend most of his time on Reddit?

r/explainlikeimfive

Sheet Jokes More Sheet Jokes

Why did the ghost stink?

Because it was covered in sheet

Why was the ghost late to the halloween party?

He had to take a sheet.

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

How are an armless man at a buffet and a kleptomaniac the same?

They just can't help themselves.

Why don't kleptomaniacs get puns?

Because they always take things literally.

Bed Bath Jokes More Bed Bath Jokes

Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.

Where'd you buy my gift?

Me: Bed Bath & Beyond Wife: You used a coupon right Me: Coupon *wife faints*