Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.

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What did T-Rex say after doing yoga for the first time?

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He said "I wanna two sheet onna the bed".

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Why don't kleptomaniacs understand puns?

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What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale?

It was an absolute steal!"

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Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.

Where'd you buy my gift?

Me: Bed Bath & Beyond Wife: You used a coupon right Me: Coupon *wife faints*