Why do most car accidents happen when men are drunk?

Because their wives are driving.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the fish?

Me: It drowned. 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: Must have been a really stupid fish.

What happened when Honey Boo Boo's mom lost 120 pounds?

An amber alert was issued

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How is my wife doing?

Doctor: I'm so sorry. The accident has left her in a vegetative-like state and I don't think she'll ever recover. She can barely move her limbs, if at all, and will be confined to a bed or wheelchair without the ability to ever walk again. You'll need to care for her 24/7, clothe her, feed her, bathe her, and she'll have no control of her bladder or bowels. Again, I'm so, so, sorry... ..... ..... ..... Just kidding! She's dead.

What did the annoyed husband tell his wife after she saw elk falling from the sky?

Sigh* That's not elk... That's just reindeer.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did a man name his legless dog, Cigarette?

Cause he had to take him out for a drag every night.

What do you do when you see a space man?

Park your car, man.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

How can you tell Russians are bad at driving stick?

cause their cars are always Stalin

What do you call a ship that drives itself?

Auto-pirate.

Car Accident Jokes More Car Accident Jokes

What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. EDIT: Spelled "Tyrannosaurus" incorrectly.

Where do most Mustangs get into car accidents at?

Leaving Mustang meets.