Why do you love your puppy more than you love your wife?

Because the puppy only knows the tricks you taught her

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did the guy without hands get for christmas?

We don't know, he hasn't opened the present yet

How many white girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Pshh....white girls don't know how to screw.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did you get me for Mother's Day?

3-year-old: A cake. Wife: Where is it 3: You haven't made it yet.

What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?

Oh no not snake and pygmy pie again!

Puppy Jokes More Puppy Jokes

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

Why did Ellen Pao punch the puppy?

Cause shes terrible.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What did the carpenter say to the girl he loved?

Oh sweetheart, you are the eye of my maple....

Why do wrestlers love video games?

Because of the lutte

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

How did the Neanderthal dad teach his son how to wear underwear?

Color coded: "Yellow in front, brown in the back"

What's the hardest part of making chicken fried steak?

Teaching the chicken to cook

Trick Jokes More Trick Jokes

Why can't you trick unemployed jesters?

Because they're nobody's fool

What does a Muslim magician say before his trick?

Araba-cadabra