Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Whats the difference between an Introverted Engineer and an Extroverted Engineer?

Introverted Engineer looks at His shoes when he's talking to you. Extroverted Engineer looks at Your shoes when he's talking to you.

What brand is it?

Me: *looks puzzled*licks lips* It's donut glaze.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What do you call a smoothie that came out too thick?

A chunky. Credit to my dad this morning..

Who was that coughing in the background?

Me : Oh, that was Denise. Dad: Oh, da' niece I thought it was da' nephew. Buh dum tsssssssss

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What happens when you goose a ghost?

You get a hand full of sheet. (Joke from my mom)

Why was the baby strawberry sad?

His mom was in a jam.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips!

What shoes are hard to wear?

Dark Soles Terrible gaming pun. My friend posted this on FB, thought I would share.

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What are the 5 best Vegetables of all time?

tink about it. Gai lan, gai lan... gai lan, gai lan, and gai lan. (thanks to Chapelle show skit((making the band)))

What are 5 "Ms" from Detroit?

GM, Eminem and Michael Moore.

Makeup Jokes More Makeup Jokes

Why are you putting on makeup, Mommy?

Me: So I look less tired. 3: Why are you tired Me: Because I'm a mom. 3: Why are you a mom Me: 3:

How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

Aww Jokes More Aww Jokes

Why are you still using it?

Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times.

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."