Makeup Jokes

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they are ugly and they stink.

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Why doesn't Asia wear makeup?

Because it clogs its SINGAPORES!

Why do soccer players not play in the rain?

It makes their makeup run.

How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

Why are you putting on makeup, Mommy?

Me: So I look less tired. 3: Why are you tired Me: Because I'm a mom. 3: Why are you a mom Me: 3:

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

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Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Where the hell did you get?

the barkeep asks. "I won it, playing cards", says the pig.

What do you call an aardvark that plays poker?

A cardvark!

Stink Jokes More Stink Jokes

How can you tell when a skunk is angry?

It raises a stink!

Why does Piglet stink so bad?

Cause he always plays with Pooh.

Autobot Jokes More Autobot Jokes

What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall ?

Ulta Magnus!

What did the autobots call Optimus Prime after he died?

Posthumous Prime

Rain Jokes More Rain Jokes

What does a ghost wear when it's raining?

boooooooooooooots

Why do Native Americans make the best strippers?

Their dancing can make it rain.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

How do you know if your wine was made in the 90's?

It smells like teen spirit.

What lies on the ground 100 feet up in the air and smells?

A dead centipede.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

Why do babies cry so much?

YOU'RE MOM.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What's the difference between your dad and this joke?

This joke will be back someday

How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage?

Dad: yea sure yells up to me son, you live with this guy now!

Mommy Jokes More Mommy Jokes

Why are you putting on makeup, Mommy?

Me: So I look less tired. 3: Why are you tired Me: Because I'm a mom. 3: Why are you a mom Me: 3:

What did the baby light bulb say to it's mommy?

I wuv you watts and watts!