Makeup Jokes

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they are ugly and they stink.

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Why doesn't Asia wear makeup?

Because it clogs its SINGAPORES!

Why do soccer players not play in the rain?

It makes their makeup run.

How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

Why are you putting on makeup, Mommy?

Me: So I look less tired. 3: Why are you tired Me: Because I'm a mom. 3: Why are you a mom Me: 3:

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why do strippers look better in the club than outside the club?

Black lights matter.

What's the difference between up and down?

It all depends on how you look at it

Rain Jokes More Rain Jokes

Why wasn't toto as excited as dorothy when they traveled the yellow brick road?

he missed the rains down in africa

What do owls sing when it is raining ?

Too wet to woo' !

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why don't Brazilians wear condoms?

Because they all pull out.

What do snowmen wear on their heads ?

Ice caps !

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why are asprins white?

Because they work.

What do you call a worker in America that will work hard for reasonable pay and never whine?

An immigrant.**

Clog Jokes More Clog Jokes

What do liquid Draino and a Dutch stripper have in common?

They both slowly remove clogs. I'll see myself out... Hey, at least it was original. Thanks for the gold !

Why doesn't Asia wear makeup?

Because it clogs its SINGAPORES!

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What is the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl?

You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball

What do you call a cat with 3 legs?

A handicat

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What is the difference between my dad and cancer?

Cancer came back

What has four legs and isn't alive?

Son: "nice try, a chair!" Dad: "Nope. Our dog just died."

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Who's there ! Blair ! Blair who ?

Blair play !

What do Mexicans play at their funerals?

Another Juan Bites The Dust