Why does Sean Connery have no money and a beard?

Because he's no good at shaving.

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Beard Jokes More Beard Jokes

How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

Why do you need 200 condoms?

Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Where's the best place to hide money from a Mexican?

Under a bar of soap.

What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money?

Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

Why doesn't Sean Connery have any grown up children?

He prefers them shaken, not stirred.

Why can't Sean Connery read November?

Because he hasn't Read October.

Shaving Jokes More Shaving Jokes

Where does Sean Connery put his beard clippings?

His shavings account.

Why do Italian men wear gold chains?

So they know where to stop shaving.