Why don't you want a turkey at your thanksgiving dinner?

Because it'll gobble up everything.

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What's the word that starts with an "N" that no one wants to call a black person?

Neighbor.

Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

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What do you call Turkey's revolting soldiers?

The Coup Clucks Clan.

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

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What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner?

1)/8"

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What did the hipster say the day after thanksgiving?

I liked the leftovers before they were cool.

Why don't you want a turkey at your thanksgiving dinner?

Because it'll gobble up everything.

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Why do turkeys always gobble?

Why do turkeys always gobble? They havent been taught good table manners!

Which bug gobbles up trash?

Second Caribou: The litterbug.