Why is marriage is like an alarm clock?

After the ring, you wake up!

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Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

What should you do when freedom calls?

Let it ring.

How are a grenade and a wife similar?

If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

Why is marriage like thin toilet paper?

Because you end up with a ring on your finger.

What's the difference between a princess and a witch?

2 years of marriage.

Alarm Clock Jokes More Alarm Clock Jokes

What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.