How are a grenade and a wife similar?

If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What the hell is going on here?

Wife turns to the man and says "Told you he was stupid."

What's the difference between talking to your wife after you forgot something and a minefield?

You can actually get through the minefield alive.

House Jokes More House Jokes

How do you get Mexicans out of your house?

Juan by Jaun

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Failure to pull out in time

Why did the cop pull over the U-Haul truck?

He was trying to bust a move

Grenade Jokes More Grenade Jokes

What do you do if a blonde person throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

What do you call a grenade thrown into a restaurant in France?

French Toast.

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

What did C.S. Lewis say about The Lord of the Rings books?

I don't know what you're Tolkien about!" Yeah, sorry.. I know it's dumb.

What kind of bell doesn't ring?

A dumbbell.