Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did God bless Texas?

He didn't want to upset Chuck Norris.

How do you tell when a girl really wants you?

When you put your hand down her pants you think you're feeding a horse.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What did the Russian people light their houses with before they started using candles?

Electricity.

Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?

A. So they can find their way back to the house.

Painter Jokes More Painter Jokes

Why did the painter from Boston have trouble making friends?

He was way too autistic for his own good.

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter?

Mohammed Dali

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did the programmer quit his job?

Because he didn't get arrays.

Why did the cookie get fired from his job?

He came to work baked.

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

What did the commitment averse monster truck announcer say to his girlfriend when she asked him, "When are you going to finally ask me to marry you?

SOMEDAY ###SOMEDAY! ###SOMEDAY!!

Why couldn't the Dairy Queen have any kids?

Because she married Mr. Softy!

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What clothes do Quakers wear?

Oat couture

What does Captain Kirk wear to the fitness center?

Jim shorts.

Wedding Ring Jokes More Wedding Ring Jokes

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering

What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau ?

A wedding ring !