Painter Jokes

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

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What did the painter say to the paint can?

A lot of good you are . (the joke is that the paint can is empty)

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter?

Mohammed Dali

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

How does a painter support their art in this economy?

Easel-y

Which painter always had a very bad cold?

Vincent Van Cough

What did the painter say to the wall?

A: One more crack, and I'll plaster you.

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

I love you with all my art!"

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

What did the painter do when he was angry?

He made a scene.

What does a painter do when he gets cold?

Puts on another coat.

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Why did the painter from Boston have trouble making friends?

He was way too autistic for his own good.

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Manet Jokes More Manet Jokes

Who is the richest painter?

Manet.

What's an Impressionist's favorite condiment?

Manet's.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How does a feminist change a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them.

How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Somewhere between 0 and infinity.

Art Jokes More Art Jokes

What's the art of having multiple personalities?

Acting

What do you call a man with no arms or legs... ... sitting at your door?

Matt. ...floating in your pool Bob. ...hanging on your wall Art. ... water skiing Skipper.

Boxer Jokes More Boxer Jokes

What do you call a row of boxers?

A punchline.

Why should you never invite a boxer to a party?

He always throws the punch.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What do you call a baby born in a whorehouse?

A brothel sprout

Why was the sterile Grizzly upset?

Because he couldn't Bear children.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What do you call a person who wears adult diapers?

Ehh, it depends.

Why does Drake hate summer?

Because you start wearing less and going out more

House Jokes More House Jokes

Who was the best actor in the bible ?

Samson he brought the house down !

What do you call it when the Speaker of the House is angry?

A raging Boehner.

Wedding Ring Jokes More Wedding Ring Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.