Painter Jokes

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

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What did the painter say to the paint can?

A lot of good you are . (the joke is that the paint can is empty)

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter?

Mohammed Dali

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

How does a painter support their art in this economy?

Easel-y

Which painter always had a very bad cold?

Vincent Van Cough

What did the painter say to the wall?

A: One more crack, and I'll plaster you.

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

I love you with all my art!"

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

What did the painter do when he was angry?

He made a scene.

What does a painter do when he gets cold?

Puts on another coat.

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Why did the painter from Boston have trouble making friends?

He was way too autistic for his own good.

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ?

It became a daddy short legs !

How do you find the fastest man in Africa?

Roll a penny down a hill.

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a fish?

Swimming trunks

Why are fish only happy inside?

They have in-door fins

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the leper chase the leopard?

Because she wanted the D. (I dreamed this joke last night. Not bad for a dream joke.)

What did the teenage crow want for his birthday?

a-CAW!

Rich Painter Jokes More Rich Painter Jokes

Who is the richest painter?

Manet.

Who is the richest painter ever?

Monet.

Economy Jokes More Economy Jokes

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

What's the best thing about the US economy being so bad?

No telemarketers.

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why don't men install urinals in their houses?

Their wives just wouldn't stand for it :)

How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly?

Just a phew!

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter?

The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.

Why couldn't the giraffe get a job at the bank?

They weren't hiring.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What do you call a bear that's not drunk?

So-Bear!

Why does Jesus always leave a door open for you?

Because he was born in a barn.