Wedding Ring Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

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Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering

Which one is married?

The one with the wedding ring YOU SICK-O!

What does the date inside of a wedding ring stand for?

best before...

Where's your wedding ring?

I said, "I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."

What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau ?

A wedding ring !

What's the leading cause of obesity in women?

Wedding rings

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Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

Most weddings happen in June.

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

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When Arwen and Aragorn got married... was Frodo designated to be the Ring bearer?

edit Thanks KikifounUnui... not my main language TT

Why was the naturists wedding delayed?

The ring bearer had an erection.

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How did 3 know 4 was a Ballerina?

He had a 2-2.

What do you call 2 polar bears jerking each other off?

Bi-polar

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What is something long and hard that a Polish Bride gets on her wedding day?

A last name.

Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?

Because she never marries the best man.

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What involves a man and two women, and doesn't even last a minute?

A Ronda Rousey fight.

Why aren't people afraid to submit reposts?

Because there's no karma involved.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the spy cross the road?

Because he never really was on your side.

What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?

Executed.

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

How do you turn a fox into a cow?

Marry it

What did the one melon say to the other melon?

We're too young to marry. We cantaloupe.

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Whats the last thing you want to hear before you go to sleep?

Zippity Bop, Puddin' pop!

Why did Thoreau build a house?

A: Because he wanted to be walled-in.