Asylum Jokes

Why shouldn't you get asylum in Russia?

Cuz you'd be snowed-in

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Why was Santa in the asylum?

He lost his SANTAty

What does an asylum have in common with a squirrel's house?

They're both used to store nuts.

Why did the cheese get sent to the asylum?

Coz 'e-mmental!

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How many mutants do you need to take over a Ship?

5 MutantA MutantB MutantC MutantD and Mutiny

What Did The Dying Gambler Say To His Wife?

10 bucks says I don't need this oxygen tank"

Borderline Personality Disorder Jokes More Borderline Personality Disorder Jokes

What do you call someone on the borderline of being diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder?

An asylum seeker.

Why does a Mexican take Xanax?

For his Borderline Personality Disorder.

E Jokes More E Jokes

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

What do you call a black person who smokes?

An e-cigger. I'm going to hell for thinking of this.

Mental Asylum Jokes More Mental Asylum Jokes

What do you need to perform a fair test in a mental asylum?

A control freak.

What do you call a midget in a Mental Asylum?

I don't really know, but it sounds a little crazy

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What do you call it when you drop an apple on the ground?

A fruit by the foot

What did the pastor say when informing two fruits that they couldn't marry?

No, you cantaloupe.

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!

What fabric is worn in Soviet Russia?

Linen

Control Freak Jokes More Control Freak Jokes

Who there?

Control freak Contro... Now you say control freak who!

What do you need to perform a fair test in a mental asylum?

A control freak.

Diagnose Jokes More Diagnose Jokes

What kind of cancer was Jar Jar diagnosed with?

Meesathelioma.

What's a good way to get gum out of your hair?

Getting diagnosed with cancer.