Bad Day Jokes

How can you tell a woman is having a bad day?

She has a tampon behind her ear and can't find her cigarette

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What was your worst day?

When I had diarrhea.

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do lawyers do after they die?

They lie still.

Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died?

He just needed a little bit of Clojure.

Pencil Jokes More Pencil Jokes

What's the smelliest type of pencil?

A #2 pencil

Where do pencils go for vacation?

Pencil-vania.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why do chemists love bad jokes?

Their jobs get a lot easier when there are no reactions

How do know a job's been done by a lesbian carpenter?

There are no nails, and no screws, it's all tongue and groove!

Ear Jokes More Ear Jokes

How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck an ear (buccaneer).

Why is it never safe to tell a joke about corn?

A corn has ears.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why is it never safe to tell a joke about corn?

A corn has ears.

How does Dr. Dre like to be told a story?

Chronic-logically.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How do you find a British person in a crowd?

1. Shout 0800 00 2. Wait for them to shout 1066.

How did Jack know exactly where to find the goose in the giant's castle?

He had her.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What did the pirate say when he saw a woman giving head?

There she blows!!!

What do you call a guy that hates Christmas and steals the woman you love?

Ebenezer Scrooge-yagirl

Easter Bunny Jokes More Easter Bunny Jokes

Where did the Easter Bunny go to college?

Johns Hopkins!

How is the Easter Bunny like Shaquille O'Neal?

They're both famous for stuffing baskets!