Ellen Jokes

Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate?

Grinder (Thanks, Ellen)

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

What is Ellen's favourite food?

Kung-Pao Chicken.

You might also enjoy:

Tennis Jokes More Tennis Jokes

What do you call a chicken that can play tennis?

A Henman.

Why do orphans play tennis?

It's the only way they can get love.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many dull people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One.

How many cynics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Doesn't matter. Lightbulb is going to die anyway.

Ponzi Buddy Jokes More Ponzi Buddy Jokes

What's Ellen Pao's husband's favourite web plugin?

Ponzi Buddy.

What is Ellen Pao's favourite piece of Malware?

Ponzi Buddy

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What song can never be played on #throwback Thursday?

Friday by Rebecca Black

What song did Kim Jong Il request be played at his funeral?

Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What does a Muslim have if they hate their god?

An Allahgy

Why do Native Americans hate it when it rains in April?

Because it brings Mayflowers.

Punch Jokes More Punch Jokes

Where do boxers punch each other the most?

In the ring.

What kind of punch hurts children the most?

A sandy hook.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus?

Reprimand from the university ethics board and immediate withdrawal of all research grants.

Why did the free-range chicken cross the road?

Because he could.

Control Jokes More Control Jokes

What's the difference between Ellen Pao and Kim Jong Un?

Kim Jong Un has control over his country.

How much for this remote controlled alien?

Sir, that's Stephen Hawking."