Englishman Jokes

What do Englishmen like more than tea?

Tea tea

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What do you call an Englishman with an IQ of 50?

Colonel, sir.

What do you call an Englishman in the World Cup final?

The referee

What did the Englishman call the hilarious Slav?

Top Vlad.

Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!

Why did the Englishman wear a tie to his vasectomy?

Because he wanted to look mptnt

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World Cup Jokes More World Cup Jokes

What did the boy with no arms &amp legs get at the World Cup?

Cancer. ( )

What did the boy with no arms & legs get at the World Cup?

Cancer. ( )

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

How did Adolf tie his shoes?

With two knotzies.

What do you get if you tie two camels together by the tails?

A palindromedary.

Iq Jokes More Iq Jokes

What do you say to a lawyer with a IQ less than 50?

Good morning your Honor!

What do you call a marine with an IQ of 70?

General

God Jokes More God Jokes

How do you make God laugh?

Tell him your plans.

What does the electron say to the resistor?

Ohm my god you're impeding me. *initiate knee slap

Referee Jokes More Referee Jokes

Why did the referee blow his whistle at the leper hockey game?

There was a face off at centre ice.

Why did the referees stop the leper hockey game?

There was a face-off in the corner.

Sir Jokes More Sir Jokes

What will you have sir?

Bear: "Gin............ and tonic." Bartender: "Why the big pause " Bear: "I dont know my dad had them too."

How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

Vlad Jokes More Vlad Jokes

Why is everyone afraid of Vladimir Putin?

Because Vlad is Putin everyone in their place. I'll let myself out.

What do you call an asthmatic vampire?

Vlad The Inhaler.

Vasectomy Jokes More Vasectomy Jokes

Why did the black man wear a suit to his vasectomy?

If he was going to be Impotent he wanted to look impotent. (important)

What's the definition of macho?

Jogging home from your vasectomy.