Heavy Metal Jokes

What are a terrestrial planet's favorite genres of music?

Rock and Heavy Metal

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What's Magneto's favorite type of music?

Heavy Metal!

Why is Dave Mustaine described as "heavy metal"?

Because he sings lead. (Better read than said.)

Why should you not throw stones at a knight?

Because heavy metal is harder than rock.

What is a chemists favourite type of music?

Heavy Metals.

What kind of music do welders like?

Heavy metal.

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Why did the fruits take out a $30,000 loan for their wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable Give it aids.

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What do you call a guy who is afraid of Santa?

Claustrophobic!

Why does Santa have a garden?

So he can hoe-hoe-hoe!

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What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts?

Shark absorbers!

What was the yacht doing while it played heavy metal music?

Dokken

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What's Santas favorite band?

Sleigher.

What's Santa's favourite heavy metal band?

Sleigher

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How does a Russian Aeroflot pilot navigate?

By reading street signs.

How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much?

Because they built their stuff with reads!

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Why does The Rock love Sonic the Hedgehog?

IT DOESN'T MATTER"!***

What's the first thing an Owl asks when you trow a rock at it?

HOOO did that!

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What do you call heavy metal music written about fruit?

Applecore. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What was the yacht doing while it played heavy metal music?

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What do Lena Dunham &amp ISIS have in common ?

They both love stoning women.

What's the best music to listen to while stoned?

Rock.