Welder Jokes

Why was the welder such a gossip?

Because he liked to meddle.

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Why were the welder and stoner such good friends?

They both love to spark up joints.

What's the difference between God and a Welder?

God doesn't think he's a Welder.

Why did the welder put on a scuba tank?

Someone's got to fix this sub.

What did the doctor tell a welder when the welder asked if his girlfriend(a pilot) using alternative lube was giving him erectile dysfunction?

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams

What kind of music do welders like?

Heavy metal.

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Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of bait do you need to catch a master fish?

Super Bait

What kind of coffee do the Islamists hate the most ?

French press

Joint Jokes More Joint Jokes

What would the punishment be for smoking a joint in the times of Jesus Christ?

You would get stoned. And then get rocks thrown at you.

What happens when you give a cow a joint?

The steaks are high

Good Friend Jokes More Good Friend Jokes

What did the boy say when his dog died?

What did the boy say when his dog died? I'm gonna miss you buddy, you were my best friend.

Why is SAE not that racist?

Because some of their best friends are black... for halloween!

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

How many unemployed actors does it take to change a light bulb?

fixed) 100. 1 to change it and 99 to stand around and complain about how they coulda done a better job.

Who's cheese is on those chips?

Fixed And I said, "Well, obviously *na-chos*." Get it It sounds like '*not yours*' with an accent.

Music Jokes More Music Jokes

Why is DJ Khaled so good at music?

He loves major keys.

What kind of phone makes music?

A saxophone.

Heavy Metal Jokes More Heavy Metal Jokes

Why is Dave Mustaine described as "heavy metal"?

Because he sings lead. (Better read than said.)

Why should you not throw stones at a knight?

Because heavy metal is harder than rock.

Sub Jokes More Sub Jokes

Why did the Naval Inspector fail the submarine?

Because he found it to be SUB-standard.

What do you call a crappy joke on /r/Jokes?

sub-standard.

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top

What traumatic event lead to you not believing in god?

Me: oh, um, science.