Joint Jokes

What do you call two stoners sharing a joint over dessert?

Joint custardy

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Why cant Mexicans smoke joints?

They aint ever got any papers

What happens when you give a cow a joint?

The steaks are high

What do you call someone who smokes two joints?

Double jointed.

Why is something that keeps you from burning your fingers on a joint called a roach clip?

Because potholder was already taken

What is it called when Michael J. Fox smokes a joint?

Shake N' Bake.

What did Snoop Dogg say upon graduation as a EE major?

My circuit breaker be trippin and my joint wouldn't solder...

Why did the monkey put a bone in his mouth?

He wanted to smoke a joint!

What did the maggot say to another ?

What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this !

Why were the welder and stoner such good friends?

They both love to spark up joints.

What did the Time Traveller find when he brought a joint to Ancient Greece?

The Philosophers Stoned

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What would the punishment be for smoking a joint in the times of Jesus Christ?

You would get stoned. And then get rocks thrown at you.

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Weed Jokes More Weed Jokes

Why do you smell like weed?

Me: How do you know what weed smells like ! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :(

What Do You Call A Group Of Terrorists That Love to Smoke Weed?

HIGH-SIS

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What do you end up with when your pig smokes pot?

Baked ham.

What do you call a family in which everyone from grand parents to grand kids smoke weed?

Joint Family.

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

Who would win in a fight, Michael J. Fox or Taylor Swift?

Michael J. Fox he would just shake it off.

What do you call a dance party in Colorado?

Shake 'n Bake.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What do you have left after you burn a French alphabet?

H Edit: I don't like explaining jokes but since the first guy didn't get I might as well: When pronounced in a French accent it sounds like ash.

Why did the blonde give up on trying to blow up a car?

She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?

He wrote "1 + 0 = 0" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out...

Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes?

A. To remind her that "toes go in first."

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Why did Chris Benoit quit wrestling?

He wanted to hang with his family.

What is the difference between a feminist studies major and a pizza?

The pizza can feed a family of four.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's yours?

ME: "I write and want to dir--" "GUNSHOT*

Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope?

He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope.

Potholder Jokes More Potholder Jokes

Why do they call "roach-clips", "roach-clips"?

because potholder was already taken. I know it's like a venn diagram of drug jokes and dad jokes.

Why is something that keeps you from burning your fingers on a joint called a roach clip?

Because potholder was already taken