Lifespan Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

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What is the lifespan of an owl?

6 1/2 books.

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How long can an Owl live?

6 1/2 books...

What is the lifespan of an owl?

6 1/2 books.

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What does Michael Jackson and j.c. penny have in common?

Little boys pants half off.

What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

Gifted!

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

How do Chinese parents pick a name for their child?

Throw an aluminum pan down the stairs.

How does a black mother tell her children apart?

She remembers them by their last names.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why is Jar Jar Binks so lonely?

He's been looking for love in Alderaan places.

Why did the auditor cross the road?

Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why was John Lennon shocked when he got his wife's gynecologist bill?

He had misunderstood the doctor when he said "I do probe Ono."

Why did you arrest that doctor?

Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do black people tan?

Holding their hands up

Why did it take so long for the postie to deliver the missing jigsaw piece?

He had a bit of a puzzle in his hands

6 12 Book Jokes More 6 12 Book Jokes

What is the lifespan of an owl?

6 1/2 books.

How long can an Owl live?

6 1/2 books...

Owl Jokes More Owl Jokes

What did the owl say to the squirrel?

Nothing. Because owls don't talk. Then it ate the squirrel, because owls are birds of prey.

What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?

A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot!