How can you tell a mortician is a necrophiliac?

He's always HARD at work.

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you do when your lawnmower stops working?

Deport him

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What is the definition of diplomacy?

The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.

How can you tell you are dealing with an extroverted engineer?

He's staring at somebody else's shoes.

Necrophiliac Jokes More Necrophiliac Jokes

What does a necrophiliac get at a funeral?

Mourning wood.

Who says love is dead?

Necrophiliacs

Mortician Jokes More Mortician Jokes

What did the mortician say to the corpse?

We're gonna need more lube.

What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee?

Don't worry, you'll fit right in.