How did the babysitter lose 500 kids and keep her job?

She swallowed

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you do if you're lost in an Icelandic forest?

Stand up!

Why does the North Korean military always lose their battles?

xpost /r/meanjokes Every single shot at them is at a chink in their armor.

Swallow Jokes More Swallow Jokes

Why do blondes prefer the pill instead the condom?

Because it's waaay easier to swallow

What type of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What does 9/11 and cancer have in common?

They were both inside Jobs

What is he doing now?

Friend: "Nothing" Me: "But I thought he got the job! " Friend: "Yes he did."

Babysitter Jokes More Babysitter Jokes

Why don't you hire a violinist as your babysitter?

Because he might fiddle with your kids.

Why was the phone busy all night?

Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.

500 Jokes More 500 Jokes

What do you call 500 dead lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start

What do you call 500 Natives running on the race track?

The Indy 500.