How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

Make him wear shoes.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man wearing two rain jackets?

Max

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in a pile of leaves?

Rustle

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What did the pencil say to the sharpener?

Stop going in circles and get to the point.

What do mother's who boycott pharmacy drugs and kids who stop playing valve's fps' have in common?

They are both over the counter strike

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What did Jesus say when they un-nailed his hands from the cross?

THE FEET, THE FEET, THE FEET!!!

How do we know Jesus wasn't a virgin?

Because he got nailed three times.

Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

What did the girlfriend say to her boyfriend that was bitten by a zombie?

You're dead to me"

How do we know that Apes are like fish after a rainstorm?

They'll both bite at anything!

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why is a dog so warm in Summer?

He wears a coat and pants.

Why do Italian men wear gold chains?

So they know where to stop shaving.

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

What did the shoe say about the customer who didn't like that it had yellow shoestring?

That's lacist.

What's a plumber's least favorite type of shoe?

Clogs.