How does a sloth hang itself?

By trying to jump rope.

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Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Why do mycologists have such a good time?

Because they hang around the fungi.

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How's Terry Fox like Jack Layton?

They both tried to run a country and died before finishing.

What happens when you take the tea away from your guest?

He's left there trying to "guess" what happened.

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why do scuba-divers jump backwards into the water?

Because if they jumped forwards they'd still be in the boat.

Why did the horse run into the bar?

He didn't jump high enough.

Sloth Jokes More Sloth Jokes

Why are sloths so green?

Because they can't move fast enough to flick a booger

How does a sloth hang itself?

By trying to jump rope.

Rope Jokes More Rope Jokes

How do pirates measure rope?

In yarr'ds.

What's more fun than swinging an infant over your head with a rope as fast as you can?

Stopping it with a shovel