Sloth Jokes

Why are sloths so green?

Because they can't move fast enough to flick a booger

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How does a sloth hang itself?

By trying to jump rope.

What is a Sloth's favorite breakfast food?

Slothages.

What did Sloth say when he found gold?

AU GUYS!!!

Why are sloths one of the 7 deadly sins?

Those little guys don't hurt anybody. They just chill all day.

Why did Sally the Sloth sleep in all day?

Because her crippling depression leaves her unable to function properly.

What are sloths?

Wrong, What are coworkers"

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Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

Why did the masochist STOP hitting himself on the head with a hammer ?

Because it hurt.

What do you do when your giant is hurt ?

You call 9-wun-wun

Little Guy Jokes More Little Guy Jokes

Why "Trojan" condoms?

Didn't the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out Less than stellar marketing.

What's the difference between a little guy with a pot o' gold and a big gathering where people's limbs are falling off?

One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con.

Coworker Jokes More Coworker Jokes

Why should I let you into heaven?

Me: Once a coworker said "supposably" 7 times in a meeting & I just let her StP: Get in here

When a coworker tells everyone he proposed, I'm the guy that asks, "So, what did she say?

I'm funny that way.

Flick Jokes More Flick Jokes

Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".

Why are sloths so green?

Because they can't move fast enough to flick a booger

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Why don't anti-vaxxers hang out in bars?

They're afraid of the shots.

How are lawyers and apples similar?

They both look good hanging from a tree

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why do white people hate being called crackers?

Because they find it insaltine.

Where would you find more Leifs than in a forest?

Valhalla.

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

What did the cow say... What did the cow say when she jumped over the barbed wire fence?

I'm udderly ruined!" credit: my grandma, at every party she's ever been to

Why did the boy jump off the dock?

Pier pressure

Function Jokes More Function Jokes

How do functions Break-Up?

They stop calling each other.

Why did x and y break up?

They couldn't function together.