Sloth Jokes

Why are sloths so green?

Because they can't move fast enough to flick a booger

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How does a sloth hang itself?

By trying to jump rope.

What is a Sloth's favorite breakfast food?

Slothages.

What did Sloth say when he found gold?

AU GUYS!!!

Why are sloths one of the 7 deadly sins?

Those little guys don't hurt anybody. They just chill all day.

Why did Sally the Sloth sleep in all day?

Because her crippling depression leaves her unable to function properly.

What are sloths?

Wrong, What are coworkers"

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Anybody Jokes More Anybody Jokes

Why would anybody ever want to visit New Brunswick?

I hear their bowling alleys are pretty nice.

Why doesn't anybody like feminist picnics?

Because they never have any sandwiches.

Sally Jokes More Sally Jokes

What does Sally have?

Cancer.

Why did the IT Admin marry Sally?

She had a 19" rack.

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

What did one bolt of cloth say to the other bolt of cloth after hurting its feelings?

I'm sari.

How to spot a douchebag in the gym?

Really bad so he hurts himself.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Why didn't they punish the student who hung himself?

He was already suspended.

Why did Chris Benoit quit wrestling?

He wanted to hang with his family.

Coworker Jokes More Coworker Jokes

Where do weirdos ride their bicycles?

Psycho-paths. (as told by one of my coworkers)

What are sloths?

Wrong, What are coworkers"

Function Jokes More Function Jokes

What happened when Apple added the new touchbar?

They're taking away functions, and there's no escape.

How do functions Break-Up?

They stop calling each other.

Little Guy Jokes More Little Guy Jokes

Why "Trojan" condoms?

Didn't the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out Less than stellar marketing.

What's the difference between a little guy with a pot o' gold and a big gathering where people's limbs are falling off?

One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con.

Chill Jokes More Chill Jokes

How do beekeepers keep their bees so chill?

They smoke them out.

What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date?

Netflix and chill.